My Passion for Speaking Ever since I was a teenager, I was heavily involved in church; especially when it came to speaking in front of the congregation. I was often asked to speak for youth Sunday’s, act in church plays, or read the morning announcements. You would think that after years of speaking in front of large crowds, I’d be a pro. Ha! This couldn’t be farther from the truth. Every, single, time I spoke… I was nervous and very uncomfortable! The thing is, at some point in college I became fascinated with the motivational speaking field and my new dream was to pursue a career in motivational speaking. I found an appreciation for the adversity that I’d overcome and I wanted to share my story with others. Ironic considering that I hate public speaking, right? The only thing was, I’d have to overcome my shyness and lack of confidence! When Opportunity Knocks, Answer Last year, a once in a lifetime opportunity knocked on my door! I had linked up with some old friends from my network and they invited me to a speaker training in Vegas, called ENGAGE: Youth Engagement Seminar & Showcase. The sponsoring company is called Coolspeak. Basically, Coolspeak trains and hires speakers to work for their company, as they speak to youth around the nation! All I had to do was present, receive feedback, and if they liked me and I met the qualifications, I could join the team. A dream come true, right? FEAR= False Expectations Appearing Real Well, let me tell you. A week before the training, I chickened out! I gave myself one million reasons why I couldn’t AND shouldn’t be a presenter at the conference. I let fear get the best of me and I lost faith in myself. I called the Assistant Vice President of Coolspeak and changed my status from speaker to participant, meaning that I’d no longer be presenting. Instead, I’d complete the training and watch others present. There was a huge weight lifted from my shoulders after I made that phone call. The pressure was finally off and I no longer had to worry about being publicly critiqued on my craft. But, the guilt set in hard and strong once I left the conference. The Aftermath: Bouncing Back When You Let Yourself Down The conference was life changing! It was truly a great opportunity. I met so many awesome people and I had the chance to watch others present their workshops and speeches. And that’s when it hit me. I felt like a complete failure. I mean, who does that? Who changes their mind at the last minute when they have a life-changing opportunity before them? (I’m pretty sure we all do it at some point, but my inner self was pissed). I beat myself up bad after the conference. I felt inadequate and I was disappointed in myself. What made it even worse was that the environment was so supportive and welcoming. I could have gotten a lot of great feedback on my speaking skills. I had the perfect opportunity before me but I was too afraid to take it. Here are a few lessons that I learned from this experience: #1 Learn to forgive yourself- We all make mistakes or do things that we wish we hadn’t done. It’s ok. It’s part of this journey called life. The question is, what are you going to learn from the situation and what will you do differently in the future? #2 Promise yourself to find meaning from your let down- Reflect on your situation and ask yourself, why you did what you did? I realized that I backed out at the last minute because I was afraid of the unknown. I doubted myself and my abilities. Once I realized why I did what I did, I thought about what I learned from the situation. #3 What will you do differently next time?- After that let down, I’ve promised myself to take on speaking engagements whenever possible. If the engagement fits into my schedule and is a good fit for me, I’ll take it on. #4 Feel the fear and do it anyway- Sometimes we must feel the fear and do “it” anyway. After my Coolspeak experience I’ve had more than 7 speaking engagements and sometimes I find myself being afraid. I’m afraid that the audience won’t respond well. I’m afraid that I’ll mess up. But, I’ve vowed to be afraid and speak anyway. There are numerous “what-ifs” that accompany our decisions. I found that focusing on the positive brings about better results for me. Everything happens for a reason. If you haven’t already, please forgive yourself. You deserve it!
