Just 7 days ago, Nia Wilson was living her best life. She and her siblings were attending a pool party at their aunt’s house in Concord, California and decided to take the BART train to get home.

A recent graduate of Oakland High School, Wilson (who loved to look presentable at all times) had goals to work in the criminal justice field or become a lawyer, according to one of her sisters.

Earlier this week, she was scheduled to go for a job interview, and she organized a birthday party for what would have been her high school boyfriend’s 18th birthday; he reportedly drowned in 2016.

On the night of July 22, as Nia and her sister Lahtifa stopped to help a woman struggling with a stroller, exit a train at Oakland’s MacArthur station, John Cowell, came up behind the sisters and viciously slit Nia’s throat. Stabbing both her and her sister Lahtifa in rapid succession. Lahtifa suffered critical injuries but was later released from the hospital.

Why Nia Wilson’s Murder Hits Close to Home for Many Black People

The MacArthur BART station where Nia Wilson was murdered is the same BART stop I get off at to see my therapist, every two weeks; I have many black friends and colleagues in the Bay Area that frequent this stop.

To say Nia’s death hits close to home is an understatement. This happened in an unassuming location and it could have very well been me or one of my friends.

Let’s be honest, seeing (and hearing about) black bodies being brutalized isn’t new to Americans. From horrific lynching photos, to Emmett Till’s open casket pictures, to the countless body cam videos of unarmed black men being murdered by police officers, this is America. This has always been America.

Once again, black people are caught in this awkward space where the media vilifies us while we’re being victimized. We can’t seem to co-exist with white people without having the cops called on us for opening our business, or delivering newspapers, or simply existing. 

Nia Wilson’s murder hits home for many black people because we know that with the current administration, attacks of violence against black people and people of color, often trigger other racists and white supremacists to follow suite.

So if you’e not in the Bay Area, you still need to be careful because a white supremacists in {insert random rural city in the U.S} might be emboldened to be a copycat killer and perpetuate the victimization of black people.

8 Safety Tips to (Hopefully) Keep Black Women Safer

The tips below are not sure-fire ways to not get attacked and this post is in no way, shape, or form, victim-blaming.

I’m scared.

For the past 7 days I’ve been more vigilant than I have ever been. I’ve looked over my shoulder like a criminal on the run more times than I’d like to remember.

I’ve been trying to think of ways to channel this anger, this pain, this hurt, and this is my creative outlet. I want to share something that’ll allow black and brown men and women to sleep just a little bit easier tonight. We have enough to worry about in this country and this shouldn’t be one of them!

1. Go with your gut- Remember, your safety is more important than being polite. If you are uncomfortable, move. If you feel a bad vibe or energy, get to a safe space. If someone is walking closely behind you and something feels off, step aside and let them pass you. We can’t care more about offending someone than we do our safety. You matter, sis, and so does your comfort.

2. Invest in a easily accessible self defense gadget- You should have quick access to a self-defense gadget in the event that you are attacked. You may not have time to open your bag or purse to get your mace, pocket knife or other self-defense method.

3. Don’t listen to music loudly- We don’t have the luxury of spacing out and strolling down the street carelessly. Unfortunately we must be on guard 24/7. If you do plan to listen to music or podcasts, make sure you’re still able to hear the conversations of those around you. Nia and her sister were listening to music in their headphones when they were attacked. That man saw they were vulnerable and took advantage of them!

4. When traveling, try to always have your back to a wall- This allows you to see what’s in front of you and could prevent someone from sneaking up behind you. Usually when I ride BART I try my best to sit in a seat along the walls.

5. Be alert and observe your surroundings- Even if you have headphones on, be sure to look around and be aware of your surroundings. Look around and know who’s behind you and next to you. I’d highly discourage talking on the phone because you will most likely be caught up in the conversation and this detracts from your senses and your perception of what’s happening around you. Remember the woman that was kidnapped while jogging and talking to her boyfriend on the phone? Being on the phone is a bigger distraction than not being on the phone.

6. Lock your car doors- As soon as you get into your car, lock your car doors. I’ve noticed that many people in the Bay Area don’t lock their car doors! Whether you’re in a Lyft, Uber or your own car, lock your car doors immediately upon entering.

7. Look out for each other- If you see another black woman, acknowledge her. Remember the days when we’d say “hello” or make eye contact and smile? Let’s start seeing each other again because the world doesn’t see us.

8. Create the spaces you crave- During these times we must take care of self and ensure that our cup is full so we can better serve ourselves, our families, and our communities. If you feel a void in the world, create that book, blog, forum, meet-up or podcast, that will speak to the need you’re craving. No one is going to save us. We must come together and advocate for our community. Just as our ancestors banded together to bring about change for our community, we can too!

Reflection Question: Do you have any self-defense or situational awareness tactics you can share? How are you processing this news? 

Rest in Power, Nia Wilson! My thoughts and prayers are with your family as are my voice and activism.

 Click the image above to see the talented artist that created this image. Also, the main photo for this blog post can be found here.