You never know how impactful a small compliment may be. Then again, you never know how deep a small mockery can cut. Let’s choose our words wisely.

Ever since I can remember, my mom would encourage me to compliment pretty girls… well really, all girls. I’d often watch her stop a lady in the street here and there, to compliment her on her outfit or her shoes or even her perfume! And when I say compliment, I mean the genuine “ohhh girl I like that outfit!” Opposed to the phony “forced compliment.” Trust, we’ve seen both!

But anyway, as you can guess, the compliment giving rubbed off on me.

Because of what my mom instilled in me, I found it natural and even refreshing to pay other women compliments. Unless, the woman “thought/knew she was all that” or if she in some way “made me feel inferior” (aka I was insecure because I felt that she was better than me or was my competition.) If this was the case, I didn’t compliment her.

For instance, there was this light skinned girl that I went to school with who was really pretty. She had blemish free skin, long hair and a super white smile. Everything that represented beauty in my mind at the time.

She wore nice clothes, got a lot of attention from guys and in my mind, I just knew that she got compliments all the time and she probably thought she was “all that and a bag of chips.”

You wouldn’t catch me giving her a compliment…ever. I figured that she knew she was cute and my accolade would either make her head big or make me look weird. I also felt extremely inferior in her company because I didn’t feel as pretty when she was around.

Somewhere along this journey to becoming a woman I realized that I had it all messed up.

Number one, it’s not right or wise to assume that we know how someone feels about themselves. You never know what story lies behind a smile or good looks for that matter. Paying a compliment is a way to, not only make the other person feel better, but boost our esteem as well.

Number two, another person’s beauty, accomplishments or favorable characteristics doesn’t take anything away from the person that you are. There will always be someone who can one up you and you’ll always be able to one up another person. I learned that comparing myself to another individual is like comparing apples to oranges, it just doesn’t make sense. By not comparing myself to others, I’ve been able to focus more on me and what makes me beautiful.

And last but not least, it actually feels good to compliment other people. You never know if your compliment can brighten a person’s day.

So, the next time you find yourself thinking “Well, she must know that, it’s obvious!” consider taking the time to articulate whatever that might be to her. You might be surprised at the pleasure or relief in her response.

 Can you think of a time when you held back a compliment fearing that your comment would be “taken to the head”?  Do you compliment pretty girls? Please share!

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