When You're the Homegirl That Made It

Let me start off by saying “making it” is totally subjective. Each of us has our own definition of what it means to “make it.”

Some of us are academically driven. We want our degrees and the implied success that’s supposed to follow.

Some of us are musically inclined and hope to get a record deal; AND some of us aspire to be mothers or to be happily married and that alone gives us fulfillment.

I respect everyone’s journey and personal aspirations. One individual’s pinnacle of success may differ from their peers and that’s ok.

When You’re the Homegirl That Made It

For me, “making it” means being able to provide for my younger siblings, creating a legacy that my siblings can carry on, and being happy.

Proclaiming that you’ve “made it” can be seen as a bit cocky. But most of time you’ll know that you’ve reached a desirable status by the people around you.

Although our success isn’t defined by others, we must admit, depending on how successful others perceive us to be, we’ve either “made it” or not ( in their book at least).

We’re either successful or we’re not; and in this case, it’s not up to us to choose.

Regardless of where you think you are in life, there’s someone out there that considers your status favorable. To someone else, you are the home girl that “made it,” despite where you believe you fall on the success spectrum.

Below are a few tips for supporting your friends when they look up to you as the successful one.

DON’Ts

Don’t brag or throw your success in your friend’s face– No one likes to be around a show off. Be sure to celebrate your success along with the success of your friends.
Don’t try to become a savior- Lending a helping hand is great but don’t do for someone else what they can do for themselves. This is enabling and it weakens the other party.
Don’t be impatient- I was the girl who needed extra time when it came to exam taking. Be patient, everyone travels at their own speed and may not get epiphanies at the same rate as you.
Don’t hoard information- If you know about an opportunity or resource that could benefit your girls, share it! You never know how your network may assist with your friend’s success. Sharing is caring.

DOs

Do realize that you’re privileged– Whatever your level of success is, be humble and realize that you are privileged. Taking your success for granted when others admire it can be a big turn off and could make you appear ungrateful and snobby.
Do encourage your home girls to pursue their own dreams and goals– Happy friends are the best friends to have. If your friends are happy for themselves they’re more likely to be happy for you as well.
Do respect the journey that your friend’s are traveling– There are many routes that lead to success. Respect the route that your homegirl is on. You’d want her to respect yours.
Do give back– Share with your friends the experiences, resources and opportunities that have made a positive impact on your life. You have the influence to deposit seeds of hope; plant them.