Life is good. I have a great job, a loving husband, supportive friends in my corner, and I’m making more money than I’ve made before. By looking at my social media channels and the accomplishments under my belt, I’m LIT… but the thing is, I still battle with depression and all of the amazing things in life can seem futile when struggling with mental illness.

How to Thrive in the Midst of Depression (and Support Depressed friends)

Just a few weeks ago I went on vacation in Miami and had a BALL. The week after, I traveled back east to speak at a high school to inspire students. Ironically, I was battling with an episode of depression.

Thrive in the Midst of Depression

I sat in my hotel room after having ordered a delicious meal from room service and I cried. I didn’t know what was wrong and to be honest, I felt guilty for not being happy because I have a really good life.

I shared with my close circle that I’d been going through some emotional lows and they’d been checking up on me but still, as I sat in my hotel room, I felt alone, confused, and worthless.

16 million adults had at least one major depressive episode in 2012. That’s 6.9 percent of the population. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), 350 million people worldwide suffer from depression.

These are facts that impact every single one of us, whether we “see” it or not. What does depression look like anyways? As you can see for me it looked like my everyday work, my normal vacations, and my passion pursuit to make a difference in the world.

It wasn’t a dark cloud over my head for all to see, nor was it secluding myself until someone finally checked in on me.

And it might be the same for you. When depression comes, we often choose to (and even more often HAVE to) keep it moving. We don’t have much time or choice to dwell on what’s really happening in our minds and hearts.

How I Thrive In the Midst of Depression

I quickly realized that the only way I would be able to truly move through the heaviness of depression, is to advocate for myself. I’d have to get the help I needed and pull out the parts of myself I missed and knew were still there inside of me.

I found a therapist (yes, a therapist!) in Oakland that just so happens to be Black and female. Yasss for representation!

I’m so excited to use my sessions to process through things that will help me get back to ME! Writing my book, managing my stresses and anxieties, and overall become a better version of Terri.

We have a grand obligation to take care of us, sis! It is always said you can’t pour from an empty cup and in order for us to continue in our passions, our work, our purpose, and our goals, we have to make self care a thing…..THE thing.

As we are recommitting to this moment to take care of our hearts and minds (that’s what we’re doing here right?) I want us to also consider our sisters who may be going through the same things.

Supporting Depressed Friends

Don’t forget to check on your strong friends. Be intentionally kind and be sure to also check on your black friends and friends of color… we are constantly traumatized by the media and this system of white supremacy.

Injustice is in our face nonstop and scrolling down your newsfeed can totally make even the happiest person depressed!

Care for ourselves and each other, must be intentional, must be full of love and empathy, must be when we “see” the sadness and when we don’t, must be a priority.

I hope that as the summer comes our way, we can not just bask in the sunshine but also in self care and care for the ones around us.

When it comes to supporting your friends struggling with depression, remember to ask questions. If you’re not sure how to support your friend, ask. If they don’t know, which is often the case, be there. Be present and reach out to let them know you’re thinking of them.

Try not to use language that minimizes the unique experience they might be struggling with. You may not understand it and that’s ok. Often time I have no clue why I’m depressed and I don’t know what I need to move through it. They key is going through to get through.

Last but not least, feel free to share the resources below with a friend that might be depressed or hopelessly struggling with mental illness.

1. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline– 1-800-273-8255 https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

2. What is depression? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-IR48Mb3W0

3. We Are NOT Alone In Depression And Anxiety http://www.scarymommy.com/depression-anxiety-not-alone/

 

Reflection Question: Do you or someone you care about struggle with depression? How do you cope and thrive?