Why I’ve Been MIA on the Blog (and What Surprising Factors Pulled Me Out of Depression)

A shameless selfie that I took while visiting my boo a few weeks ago. As corny as it may sound, I chose this picture because of the lipstick. It’s dark and quite frankly that’s how I’ve been feeling lately! However, read the rest of the post. It gets better 🙂 *Always end on a positive note*

Depression Sucks!

Soooooo, lately I’ve been going through a few personal issues that have taken a toll on me mentally, physically… sheesh, even emotionally and spiritually. You know how when you’re going through something you tend to cut off or withdraw from the things you need the most? (Sidenote: Why do we do that anyway?)  For instance, years ago I was in an unhealthy relationship and I noticed that during some of my lowest moments, I stopped attending church regularly, I didn’t journal or self-reflect as much as I used to, and I stayed really busy. I stopped attending church not because I was fearful of being judged, but because I didn’t want anyone to notice how fragile and vulnerable I was at that time. Plus for some reason, whenever I go to church, I cry (or at least most times. lol) This whole “running away from what I need” thing holds true for blogging as well.

Many readers and people from my Mocha Fam (friends and subscribers) often tell me how the blog has helped them to accomplish a personal goal or how it’s inspired them; but the funny thing is… this blog is my free therapy. I write because I also need to be inspired. The sad part is, when I’m going through a tough time, I tend to withdraw from my therapy. I haven’t really figured out why but I think I have an idea. I don’t want to show my Mocha Fam the negativity that I fall victim to. I don’t want to discourage or disappoint you. However, I came to the conclusion that it’s important for me to share the good with the bad. 

The good news is that I was able to refocus and see the light at the end of the tunnel and I’ll share with you a few revelations that pulled me out of my low place. I also had a bunch of support from my amazing support system. Especially my boyfriend, my older sister and my BFF! The bad news is that I’ll have to wait to share the juicy details about why I was in that place later on. I can tell you that I’m going through a few personal transitions that are testing my confidence and overall balance.I’m still in the process of healing and finding my way, but I promise, as soon as I can articulate my journey in a productive way, I’ll share. As always <3

Least Expected Motivators:

The YouTube Book 

On the other hand, you won’t believe what provided me with a sudden boost of confidence mixed with motivation and a little bit of perspective. The first source of motivation was from a book I just finished called YOUTUBE: An Insider’s Guide to Climbing the Charts by Alan Lastufka and Michael W. Dean. I was obviously reading this book to gain some insight on how to successfully position myself on YouTube when… BAM… I was inspired.

Overall this book was an easy read with technical advice for creating a lasting presence on YouTube. I was really inspired by the stories of individuals who started out on YouTube purely doing what they love and now have careers doing what they love and getting paid to do so! Here are a few quotes that really lifted my spirits:

” People are not victims of circumstance as much as they think. Rise above your problems and be great. Don’t waste six or seven decades doing nothing. Make a difference.”  

I’ve been feeling sorry for myself and honestly I’ve been wallowing in my predicament instead of “rising above my problems” and trying to move past this rough patch. This quote above spoke volumes!

“Live each moment as if it’s your last, because it might just be. And create every piece of art with meaning as if it’s the last thing you’ll be remembered for. Because it might just be.”   

Michael Dean wrote this quote after sharing a personal story of how his daughter suddenly died of leukemia at 22 years old. This is devastating! This quote made me realize how precious and short life is. It reminds me that 1) Our legacy is greater than our pain and 2) No pain lasts forever. 

The 9/11 Memorial

This weekend my little sister came to visit me and begged me to take her to the 9/11 Memorial. It was so weird. I didn’t expect to be so inspired from such a sad and tragedy stricken place. We weren’t able to get tickets but we visited the historic St. Paul’s Chapel. This is the church directly across the street from the towers and was a place of refuge for the volunteers and firefighters. Reading the stories of the loved ones who were lost and the people who’s lives are changed forever really gave me a fresh perspective on my own life. There are so many trivial nuisances that I stress about that aren’t even worth it. It was humbling to be in the same environment where people made life or death decisions that impacted history! My little problems are so minute in the grand scheme of things.   

Share Your Wisdom. Comment Below!

How do you typically get out of those “blah” moods?

Do you also withdraw from the things you enjoy doing when you’re feeling low?

What was the best piece of advice you received when going through a phase of depression?

Please share!