How to Survive a Break-up the Healthy Way Terri Lomax November 17, 2012 3 Comments Whether you’re breaking up with someone OR someone is breaking up with you, break ups suck! But once you fall into the “single ladies” category, you should take a few steps to ensure that you’re coping with the break-up in a way that’ll spare your reputation and promote healthy progression. How to Survive a Break-up the Healthy Way 1. Vent- Get it all out! Suppressing your emotions can (and most likely will) hurt you in the long run. This is the time to take your bestie up on that “commitment” she made when you became friends. What commitment you ask? The vow that every bestie makes to be there for you in the wee hours of the morning when you’re going through! Be sure to return the favor when she needs you! 2. Find a support system and use it- No woman should have to handle a break up by herself. This is not the time to be an island. Call your girlfriends, your close guy friends (the ones who won’t take advantage of you at this vulnerable state) your mentor, your God-mother… call someone who you trust who will shed some positive light on the situation. 3. Treat yourself- If you have a couple extra dollars, treat yourself to something that makes you happy. Why? Because you deserve it! Hey, sometimes retail therapy does wonders. Go get your nails, toes and hair did or buy a new dress. Don’t go overboard but spoil yourself a little. 4. Channel your emotions into a productive outlet- Identify how you’re feeling. Are you angry? Depressed? Indifferent? Or maybe even happy? Once you figure out how you’re feeling use that energy to be productive. After one break up I journaled, updated my resume, went to the gym and focused more on my studies. Those were my “things.” They kept me busy but also productive. Find your “thing” and put all of your energy into it. 5. Keep the cookie in the cookie jar- Ex sex (sex with your ex) doesn’t work… someone always gets hurt. Remember, there’s a reason you aren’t together. Rebound sex or I’m-newly-single-depressed-and-ready-to-mingle sex isn’t good either. Sex can make you feel better in the short-term but it does much of nothing for the long-term. Usually the more time you spend searching for frivolous sex, the farthest you find yourself from a fulfilling relationship. No one wants to be a permanent jumpoff! 6. Find substitutions- You and your ex probably spent all or most of your time together. So now that he’s gone, you need to substitute the time he used to take up, with positive activities or substitutions. NO! I’m not encouraging you to start talking to a new guy or start searching for a rebound. Though that may be a temporary fix, it doesn’t help in the long run. Ask me how I know -_-. Try getting involved in a local organization, find a new hobby, attend church services or hang out with your friends more often. Do you have any other tips that might help someone during a break up? Share Below!
