When I was 17 I found myself searching for the definition of womanhood. 18 was right around the corner and I didn’t want to miss a beat when I reached this, oh so anticipated, rite of passage. When I turned 18, I wanted to act like an 18 year old. I wanted to be treated like an adult. I wanted to be treated like a woman. At 18 I’d finally be able to say “I’m grown” or better yet, “I’m a grown ass woman.” But what did it mean? I had no clue. I literally searched Google looking for articles, perspectives and role models that I could emulate in hopes of reaching true womanhood. For the majority of my life I struggled with low self-esteem and self-acceptance, which prolonged my journey to womanhood. I was suffering from an identity crisis. Who am I? Why am I here? What am I worth? were just a few of the many questions that I longed to find answers to. When I turned 18, I still didn’t feel like a woman, I felt like a girl. But why? According to the most prevalent media depictions and well-intentioned women, I’ve seen womanhood defined as: when you get your period when you have sex when you have your “own” (fill in the blank: house, car, money, man, job, etc…) when you have a baby when your body is thick in the right places when you have an education when you reach a certain age when you can think for yourself and validate your opinion, or when you’ve succeeded in your career The thing is, I had girlfriends who met most of the criteria above and even I had crossed a few of those off of my list, but we still questioned our womanhood. What makes us a real woman? What is a real woman? Not just a biological female, but a woman. I always thought there was a concrete definition or a few experiences that needed to be had in order to transform a girl into a woman. What takes place between adolescence and adulthood that makes the world view and respect you as a woman? What happens within that gives a girl the confidence to walk in her womanhood? I have a little sister who just turned 17 and I’d love to share with her the insight from other women about womanhood and defining one’s self. Using our life lessons, mistakes, experiences and wise decisions, hopefully we can articulate to the young women of today what it means to be a woman before they receive a distorted depiction. I have my own definition that I’ll share in the comments section, but first, I’d like to ask you ladies what your thoughts are? Share Your Wisdom. Join the Conversation Below! When did you first feel like a woman and why? What does it mean to be a woman to you? Has society or your surroundings challenged your definition of womanhood?
