Do you know how to say no? Of course you do. But why is it so hard for us to say no when it really matters?

When we were children we would scream it from the mountain tops when we knew wanted our way. As teenagers we were quickly to shoot a “No!” at our parents when they were doing something embarrassing or old fashioned.

But seemingly as adults, the word has lost its meaning. It’s gone bland on our tongues. Instead of “No” we find ourselves sighing a “Yes” even when we know it’s exactly the opposite of what we want to be doing.

Ugh! How did we get here?

A recent article in the New York Times suggests that summoning the power to say no, not only frees up our schedule from things we’ve been dreading from the get-go but it also subconsciously reminds ourselves that we are in the driver seat of our lives.

Being able to advocate for ourselves on what we won’t, don’t or will not do, puts us into a place for mindful living instead of a go-with-the-flow attitude that as we all know can so easily get out of control.

So how do we take our power back? How do we teach ourselves how to say no? How do we maintain a sense of self standards and reclaim ultimate control of what we do with our time, energy, and resources?

Get comfortable saying “No”! Practice makes perfect, right?

3 Things to Remember As You Get Comfortable Saying No

1. Just because you have an opening on your calendar doesn’t mean you have to fill it. Remember that your time is yours and when it’s free you can use it exactly as you please. Did someone say day nap?

2. You might be doing more helping than hurting when you say yes to things you don’t have the care or capacity to do. When you say yes make sure it could easily also be a “Hell yes!” If no, that means it should probably be a “Hell no!”

3. Practice saying no at least once a week. To hear your voice say (or your fingers type) no, can be a scary experience. The more you practice the easier it will be to let the no’s come freely when you need them. Here’s a list of 49 ways to say no to anyone (when you don’t want to be a jerk.)

There is strength in no, my sister. Even though I know it doesn’t always feel that way. We are groomed from birth to be all doing, all knowing, all available. And it only gets ramped up once jobs, children, spouses, organizations, and responsibilities come into the mix.

I hope that you can take the word “no” and use it as a key to open doors to self care, a medicine to heal you from over work and under-appreciation, and a weapon against the parts of our lives that seek to exhaust us, overwhelm us, and stretch us too thin.

Sometimes You Need to Say No to Yourself

With that said, I’m taking my annual blogging hiatus to refill my cup, read, travel, have fun, rest, and all that good stuff I don’t normally prioritize because I’m low key addicted to work.

Sometimes in order to go to the next level we need to sit down, be quiet, and listen.

If we aren’t making progress it just might be us. We may need to consider a different approach, a fresh perspective, and sometimes we need to humble ourselves and listen to someone who’s a few steps ahead of us.

I have big plans for Mocha Girls Pit Stop in 2019! If you want to stay in the loop and follow my hiatus enter your email below and follow the #TerriTimeout hashtag on social media.