Usually when I see my colleagues or peers doing great things and walking in their destinies, I get motivated. There’s typically a degree of healthy competition that energizes my spirit when I watch my peers thrive.

I shout them out or send some positive vibes their way and get back to my grind.

But yesterday, was one of those days.

I sat on the couch scrolling down my timeline to take a quick break from a project I’m working on and noticed that “everyone” I scrolled past was doing something amazing that I wish I had the opportunity to do at this very moment. It seemed like everyone’s life was lit and I was stagnant. 

Some of my friends have partnerships with big brands (ummm how freakin’ awesome!)

Other friends are traveling abroad (bruh! Can I get a plane ticket?)

For goodness sakes, one of my mentors is about to hit $1 milli in revenue this year ( 😫but I want a million dollars too)

Instead of being inspired by the greatness around me, I felt overwhelmed.

I was reminded of everything I want to do, everything I want to learn, and how much work I need to do.

I have to figure out how to finish my site, how to build more landing pages, how to stay healthy and keep my energy up to sustain my current lifestyle… blah, blah, blah…

I silently wondered to myself, when am I going to get XYZ? When is XYZ going to happen for me? Am I capable of achieving XYZ?

Girl Talk is the Best Talk

My husband offered me some kind words of encouragement and helped me put things in perspective – and then I got back to work… only to get the following text from my sister (She’s gray, I’m blue).

Everyone Else's Life is Lit
I’m not even going to lie, when I saw her text, I thought to myself, “How the hell am I going to give her a pep talk when I’m feeling crappy?” But it’d be against sister code to deny the call. We always do this kind of stuff for each other.

So I call her and we chat for about 20 minutes and she gives me the scoop.

Basically, Sis’ BFF invited her over last week and to her surprise, her BFF had moved to this BEAUTIFUL new home. Now Sis and her husband have been talking about getting a new home for their family but they aren’t in a position to do so at the moment.

Sis went on to tell me how the house was literally the house that she had dreamt of for her and her family. She felt low. She was happy for her friend but also a bit envious (I can relate, can you?).

We must still have our sister connection from childhood! I politely asked Sis if I could share with her what was going on in my life.

I told her about the millionaire mentor (but I want a milli too), all the great things my friends are doing, and then I asked her a very serious question.

Me: “So what advice would you give me?”

My sister didn’t miss a beat.

Sis: “Girl, I know you’re going to achieve all of your goals. What ever you put your mind to, you can do. I really believe that. It’ll take time and you’ll reach them exactly when you’re supposed to. Everyone has a different journey.”

I bust out laughing and responded with a sarcastic, “Soooo….?”

Sis: “I knew you were going to use that against me.”

My sister and I had a very productive conversation as we encouraged each other to keep pushing and stay focused on our own unique journeys. After I asked for her permission to share this story, we came up with 4 Ways to Stay Motivated When Everyone Else’s Life is Lit (And You’re Just Waiting for a Breakthrough).

4 Ways to Stay Motivated When Everyone Else’s Life is Lit

1. Revisit Your Why & Your Master Plan: It’s easy to look at someone else’s path and envy their lifestyle or the possessions they have, but do you want what they have just because they have it, or does the achievement align with your vision?

I remember scrolling down my Instagram timeline and noticed that one of the people I follow was in Dubai on vacation. As dope as that is, and as cool as it would be for me to go, it doesn’t fit into the 5 year plan that I’ve mapped out for myself.

I want to visit a few other places before considering Dubai. However, don’t get me wrong, if someone gave me a free ticket, I’d be out.

But at the end of the day, it doesn’t even make sense for me to be jealous or envious because me being in Dubai at this very moment, isn’t a part of my plan… I have things that need to be done and I have to continue to map out my goals to reach the next level. The timing isn’t right for me… but it is for my friend on Instagram.

Take a look at the plans that you have for your life and ask yourself this question the next time you feel envious, “Do I want XYZ because she has it or is this a goal that I’d like to begin working toward?”

If it’s a goal that you’d like to pursue, don’t hope for it more than you work for it. Put your work ethic where your mouth is and do that boo!

2. Don’t Despise the Days of Small Beginnings: Remember that every journey begins with a single step. One step. That’s all it takes. That one step is the beginning of a journey full of necessary successes, failures, and learning experiences… all needed for your growth and development.

Don’t compare your day 1 to someone else’s day 100. It’s not fair to yourself or your journey. Would you really want to go from 1st grade to 12th grade?

Every time you “graduate” in life, you should be gleaning lessons, resources, and tips for your next level. You need the journey, embrace it!

3. Realize Why Successful Black Women Should Be Celebrated: Black women, this is for you specifically. When you think about the black woman in a historical sense, we were positioned to be the work horse.

With our bodies and our labor, we funded other people’s dreams. We’ve been told that we are the lowest form of human being on the planet and we’ve been treated as such.

Black ladies, when we see another black woman succeeding, we should be inspired, ignited, and genuinely happy for our sister; for if she can do it, so can we.

We don’t live in a system that provides equal rights and opportunities, so when one of us does “make it”, a piece of us all makes it!

4. Motivate Yourself & Create a Game Plan: If you feel stuck, if you’re in the midst of an uncomfortable transition in life and you need an extra boost of motivation to achieve your goals, register for me free webinar, The Power of the ‘P’: 7 Tips to Help You Push Past the Rough Patches in Life.

This webinar will help you map out a game plan for identifying your purpose and your passion. You can register here.

Reflection Questions: How do you stay motivated when it seems that everyone around you is progressing?

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  • Thanks for sharing lady! lol @ the Dubai comment.

  • Thanks so much for sharing 🙂 I appreciate you!

  • Jamie Rockymore

    This was motivation at its best. It’s easy to get sad when we see other people following the dreams they talked about in the past. What’s interesting is to read that you also feel this way. Thank you for being transparent. We all like to share great news, yet sometimes its hard to hear great news when we feel we are not in the position we want to be in. I’m looking forward to reading more on your website.

  • Terri

    Thanks for sharing Cassie! It’s definitely a process. 🙂

  • Cassie Charles

    It is difficult. Of course, you’re happy for your friends when they achieve something great, but it does make you wonder when is it going to happen for you.
    The Dubai thing made me laugh. It’s true, you want to go on holiday but then you know it wouldn’t be the right time either.
    The mind is a complex thing.
    I get through those moments in the same ways you outlined in your blog post.