It’s Wednesday morning, the day before Thanksgiving. My little sister and I are making last minute errands for my grandmother as she adds the finishing touches to her meals. Right after my sister runs into Shop Rite one of my old colleagues calls my cell. I’m a little surprised but I assume she’s calling to wish me an early “Happy Thanksgiving.” I pick up the phone and she sounds a little uneasy. She tells me that our old supervisor passed away a few hours ago. I don’t get details but she said it was health related.

I was so shocked. My heart was broken. For goodness sakes, it’s the holiday season! I was deeply saddened, of course because I knew her, but also because she told me so much about her family and her boyfriend. The last time I saw her was in March of this year. She appeared to be so happy. She was really looking forward to her future. My heart really goes out to her family and close friends; I can’t imagine losing a loved one so close to the holidays. My old supervisors death hit home for me. We’re just about in the same age bracket and knowing that someone so young, vibrant and full of life, passed away so suddenly, made me more aware of my own mortality. It really got me when I went to her Facebook page and saw one of her last status’ which read something to the affect of “hoping I don’t spend Thanksgiving in the hospital!” 

I don’t handle death well. I understand that we all have to leave this earth one day but it’s so difficult for me to come to terms with the fact that life is so precious, so beautiful,  but yet so fragile in that, one day we’re here and the next we’re not. Just like that. I really challenged myself to take something away from my colleagues death. Anytime I hear about the loss of a loved one I think about my dad’s untimely death. I’m remember the depression, the grieving and the long journey that my family and I took to make it to the next day. Not trying to be morbid, but death is a reality. It’s something we need to talk about more. Death helps me to put things into perspective sometimes. Below are a few reminders that help me to seize the moment and appreciate the life that I have.

 

1. F*ck Fear and Live- I don’t know how else to say it but I hope that you can feel the passion behind this statement.There are so many experiences and opportunities that I failed to pursue because of fear. I was scared of what people what think. I was scared of failing. Sheesh, I was scared of succeeding. Life is too short to be scared. It’s too short not to pursue your goals. One statement that I live by that has particularly helped me with my motivational speaking and blogging career is “feel the fear and do it ANYWAY.” People are waiting on your gifts! 

 2. Get Your Ish In Order- Even as a young person it’s vital to have a Living Will & Testament, life insurance, or a file folder with medical information or passwords to certain accounts. Sometimes it can be extremely awkward having conversations with your family about your “after life wishes” and other necessary information, however, it makes things so much easier in the grand scheme of things. Luckily when my dad passed he had a lot of his important documents in a briefcase that we all knew about.  

3. Show Your Appreciation- I beat myself up for years after my dad passed because I didn’t feel like I appreciated him enough while he was here. Since his passing, I made it a habit to send thank you notes to those who’ve done favors for me. I say “I love you” to my family and friends more often and I let people know that I appreciate them. There’s nothing worse than losing someone and questioning whether or not they were aware of the way you felt about them.

4. Forgive Swiftly- We all know that forgiveness takes time. It’s a never ending journey considering that we’ll be forgiving people ( hopefully :)) for the rest of our lives. I can’t imagine holding a grudge against someone and having the person pass away. Forgiveness isn’t an overnight process but it should be the long term goal.

5. Leave a Legacy- You don’t have to be famous or rich to leave a legacy. You legacy can be as simple as the random acts of kindness that you bless the world with or the positive impact that you have on your family or colleagues. Your legacy is how you’ll be remembered. The good thing about it is we all have the power and the time to determine what kind of legacy we want to leave.

 

 

R.I.P to the loved ones  that were lost over the past week.  

 

Share Your Wisdom. Join the Conversation!

Do you have any advice for someone who’s dealing with the loss of a friend or loved one? How do you cope with the concept of death?